Photo by Light Touch Professional Photography

I love to see unique ideas that help to create a fun and memorable experience for guests, such as this temporary tattoo idea. I had never seen this at an event before, and I have never seen it since. So if you are looking for a creative idea to add to your wedding reception, perhaps consider this.

As much as I’d like to direct readers to a good site or company that makes custom temporary tattoo, I am refraining from doing so because I have not had any personal experience with any suppliers. I did, however, do a google search for “custom temporary tattoos” and discovered many helpful sites. It seems as if the going rate for a small order of 200, will run you about 50 cents per tattoo. The pricing per tattoo decreases as the number of pieces your order increases.

Go get your ink on!

Photo by http://www.lighttouchphoto.com/

First, I realize that many brides won’t have the privilege or the pleasure of sharing a dance with their father. I’d be happy to offer suggestions based on your individual situation. There are ways to pay tribute to your dad and/or express your appreciation to other significant people in your life. For this article, I’d like to assume that your father will be there on your wedding day, and you are looking forward to this dance.

When beginning your search for songs to dance with your Father, you should first decide whether this dance is ‘from you to him’ or ‘from him to you’. Once you decide this, your song selection will naturally narrow itself to songs with lyrics appropriate for either situation. Also, certain songs will feel more fitting based on whether they are sung by a male or female artist. Another aspect of the perception of the dance which you might want to consider in the early stages is your dad’s opinion. You might want to see if your father has a preference of songs or ideas about the dance. I am sure there are some fathers who have been anticipating this day much longer than the bride has… believe it!

My second bit of advice is to avoid making the song selection a surprise. With all that is going on at the moment you dance, it’s not likely that the impact of a song you delicately chose will make the impression you hoped for. One of the last things on your father’s mind at this moment is to listen to the lyrics of a song to try and figure out why you chose it. On the contrary, if you provide him with a copy of the selected song in advance, he can listen to and absorb it so that when he hears the first note, his emotions will be triggered.

Finally, as I have mentioned in some of my previous posts, think about the dance. Picture how you anticipate it happening… really put yourself in the moment. Will you dance formally with proper posture (dad holding your hand at shoulder height), will you be sobbing and hugging him, or will he be twirling you around? Depending on the importance of the dance, you might want to give it a go once before the big day. Get the kinks out so you can focus on the reality and significance of the dance.

The three-page list of songs contained in this post is a collection of songs that I have either discovered over the years or that my clients have used. I’m sure there are many more possibilities. I hope this list might give you a few ideas that you might otherwise have not considered.

For the die hard: I would suggest to saturate the night with Irish whenever and wherever you can. This includes, prelude music before your ceremony. Enya has some beautiful music for this time. Also for the ceremony time, take a listen to Aine Minogue’s album called The Vow. Maybe choose something a little less traditional for your recessional, perhaps something by the Saw Doctors, such as “She Always Gives Me More”. If you are really daring, try “If I Should Ever Leave This World Alive” by Flogging Molly… it’s a bit eclectic, but not wholly inappropriate for an uplifting, fun recessional. Another out-of-the-box idea for a recessional is “Happy Man” by The Prodigals.
Cocktail Hour is somewhere that you can load your guests up with green beer and a variety of green music. Depending on the tone you want to set for this period, you can find a plethora of irish music on any music site, my favorites are itunes and lala.com, recently acquired by Apple Inc. What I will say is that if you intend on having irish music played during the reception, you may want to save some of your favorites and standards for the reception time.
The reception has so many places to squeeze in the green. For example, the introductions, the first dance, even the parent dances. For introductions, my most popular irish song suggestion for a bride and groom’s grand introduction is “Shipping Up To Boston” by the Dropkick Murphys, who have another song or two that work well later in the night. I’ve had a few couples use The Irish Wedding Song for the first dance, although it’s not the most romantic of songs. And if you are looking for something to dance with dad that relates well to the Irish, “Daughter of Mine” (John Mcdermott or Andy Cooney) is a sure-fire choice. Roger Whittaker, a folk singer that has recorded many irish songs, sings a song called “A Perfect Day” that is written about a Father and Daughter on the wedding day. Grooms, don’t worry, I have a recommendation for you too. One of my favorite Mother/Son songs is “Have I told You Lately”, and Van Morrison sings a version of this song with the Chieftains… check it out!
As for the rest of the reception, I suggest using any time that guests are not dancing to play irish songs, saving the Irish drinking songs for later in the evening. If the guests are into the irish thing, later in the celebration you will likely get some dancing out of it and certainly some singing along.

For the “I’m not irish, but think it would be fun” bride: If you like to go out on St Patricks day, have a pint of that green ale, and sing along with the best of them, but you’re just not willing to turn your wedding into a St. Patrick’s Day party, fear not. You can sprinkle some irish music throughout your reception without making it feel like your at the pub. My recommendation is to use the standards in one of three ways. Make your cocktail hour an irish music escape. This will surely satisfy the irish in anyone. Another option would be to sprinkle the hits throughout the reception during times when guests are not dancing. For example, place a song or two during the salad course, another couple during dinner, and maybe one more around the time your guests are eating their dessert. Alternatively, you could play one set of irish music at any given time during the reception. Choose 4 or 5 of your favorite irish songs, and have the entertainment play them all at one time to give homage to your irish guests. My recommendations for the best irish songs include “The Black Velvet Band”, “Bog Down in the Valley”, “Drunken Sailor”, “The Galway Girl” and “M.T.A.”.

“I hate Irish Music but my Dad insists”: Understood. You shouldn’t feel bad not incorporating irish music into your wedding regardless of when your wedding is. However, sometimes it’s hard to escape the request from close family and friends. If this is your situation, I have a recommendation for you as well. My recommendation is to use the dinner portion of your reception to play a couple of irish songs. I realize that no irish song sounds good to you, but I’d say three would satisfy those who insist that you have irish music played. The time when guests are eating their meals is typically a time when the music is soft and whatever is being played generally doesn’t disrupt any flow you may have for the day. Choose wisely, because if you pick three songs that are unrecognizable as irish music, this will fail. Ask those that are insistent what their picks are. This will eliminate ambiguity and they’re more likely to keep their ears open to hear their requests.

Whether you are choosing to have your wedding day around St Patrick’s Day by choice or it just happened to coincide with the holiday, you have to decide if you want to tie the irish spirit into your day. If you do, I hope the information provided above gives you some ideas.

You might be familiar with the old tradition of tapping your glass with a utensil at your place setting in order to persuade the bride and groom to publicly proclaim their affection with a kiss. Usually, the clinking is instigated by a couple of guests and is infectiously contributed to by the majority of the guests at the celebration. Often, a bride and groom will hold off on the kiss until nearly everyone picks up on the action and the clinking becomes loud enough to take over the party for the moment. In lue of using silverware and china, often a tiny bell in placed on the table for guests to use to make the couple smooch. (I’ve seen many variations of the bell, which can be a fun way to add a special touch to the table settings). The following idea is a replacement for the glass clinking or noise making.

Ask you entertainment to make an announcement toward the beginning of the night that goes something like this, “In order to save the china here tonight and(/or) at the request of the bride and groom, we are going to ask that if you would like to have the happy couple kiss this evening, instead of tapping your spoon on your wine glass, you and all of the guests at your table will have to really show how much you need that kiss. You will have to collectively come up with a song that has the word ‘love’ in it, then stand up together and sing a couple of lines including the word ‘love’. So when and if you have that song ready, just get my attention and we will give you the floor so that you can sing your song and have the bride and groom kiss.” You might suggest that your emcee give an example such as “Hunk of burnin’ Love” by Elvis.

They needn’t sing the whole song or even much of it, just as long as they get up together and shout out the line with love in it. Once a group or two shows the rest how it’s done, it becomes a truly fun and unique memory for the night. You just might be surprised how creative some of the guests get in order to see you smack one on your hubby that special day! Happy Kissing!

As you plan for your wedding day, you may choose to use one or some of the many wedding resource sites available on the web. Depending on where you live, there may be some fantastic local (or what we call regional) sites that are popular. For Example, in New Jersey, the best regional site available for brides’ research is NJWedding.com. If managed properly, such as NJWedding.com, these regional websites can be very useful. However, it is hard to ignore the incredibly powerful tools available through some of the national wedding planning websites such as TheKnot.com and WeddingWire.com.

With the proper business models in place, these large wedding resources are able to develop and make available to you just about any web based tool you need to plan your wedding. How do you choose which one to use? Why not use several of them? Although you could choose to use the planning timeline tool from one and the seating arrangement tool from another, it would behoove you to stick to one resource. With the complexity of making so many arrangements for your big day, it just makes sense to get into the groove of working with one platform, mastering it’s intricacies and maximizing it’s potential to assist you.

Since it’s launch, I have been continually impressed with every aspect of the heavy-hitting wedding resource, WeddingWire.com. The following are just a few of the tools available to help you:

• A Dashboard to give an overview of wedding day and planning stages
• A variety of feature rich wedding websites templates for you to choose from and use
• A checklist tool
• A budget tool
• A guest list tool
• A drag & drop seating arrangement tool

And these are just some of the tools. One of the most important tools, which I didn’t list above, is the Find a Vendor tool. This is where I think WeddingWire has championed the other sites. WeddingWire has developed it’s web 2.0 site so that the vendor search tool is primarily user driven.  In other words, it incorporates modern technologies in a way that makes your search for the right professional easy and trustworthy.

Customer reviews and ratings are encouraged and can be very helpful as you sift through the many professionals for any service you might need. Each professional has a storefront on WeddingWire that will give you even more insight about the service you are considering and of course you have the option of contacting them directly through WeddingWire or any other way you find convenient. This original rating and review feature sets the site above the rest. But I’d be remiss if I didn’t mention how well the site works. It’s always quick and accurate. You will always get the info you expect. Don’t mistake it’s simplicity for a lacking of anything. Surely it’s simplicity and efficiency is by design. Give it a shot… you won’t regret it!

I recently had the privilege of working with a couple who wanted to surprise their family and friends with a mini-evolution of dance during their first dance. Marissa and Mike LoCasio came to me several months before their wedding to see if I could help them put together a unique wedding song that consisted of many clips of different songs. After a couple drafts we came up with the perfect edit for them. They spent some time rehearsing and on the big day they completely took their guests by surprise, and it was a huge hit! Kudos, Marissa and Mike!

Special thanks to Rob Adams, the fantastic videographer who captured this moment and released it for all to see.

Candi does a wonderful job of updating her blog while somehow keeping you intrigued. As you know, you can learn a lot by reading about another’s life and when it comes to planning such an important day of your life, we can all use just about as much guidance and advice as possible.

Candi McDougall will be getting married on June 19th 2010 in Brielle, NJ at beautiful facility call the Brielle Riverhouse. Discover some of the unique ideas she has by sifting through her blog.  Although it might not be as easy on the eyes, it’s simple to read. I hope you will learn from it and enjoy it!

My hat is off to Candi for openly sharing her wedding planning to the world. Visit her blog, titled One Girl In Philadelphia today.

photo: studiotonline.com

To some, the choice of wedding songs is easy.  Many feel it isn’t important.  There are couples who believe the song they choose for their first dance together as husband and wife is one of the most important musical decisions for the day.  There are many aspects of this dance that a couple can consider, but one of the most common discussions I hear is about the popularity of the prospective songs.

My advice is to choose a song not based on it’s popularity.  Rather, you should select a song based on it’s significance.   If the decision is important, so should the song be important to you both.  Your first dance together as husband and wife doesn’t need to be some deeply romantic moment. I have had plenty of couples choose light hearted songs because it was them.

It is true that if you pick a song that is not popular, it is a much less likely that you will hear it on the radio 5, 10 or 20 years down the road.  Realistically, you will not hear your wedding song 20 years down the road on the radio anyway.  You can always burn a CD and keep it in the car.  Who knows if radio will even be around in another 20 years.  You may be able to dial the song in to have it played on your car stereo.

My advice is to think of songs that are important to you both.  Pick the one that best fits who you are!

I would love to hear what some of you chose as a wedding song and why you picked that song.  How did you go about making a final decision?

Grooms, under what category might you fall?

For simplicity, we could categorize grooms into two groups, those who dance and those who don’t dance.  The groom who doesn’t dance will often understand that guests will be dancing and that much of the music played will be music that he either doesn’t listen to or that he dislikes.  The groom who dances typically will have a lot of requests and some pretty pointed ideas of what he’s going to want in order to have a good time. For the non dancers, fear not.  You can still have music that you listen to (even if it is unusually heavy) played on the wedding day.  It just needs to be sprinkled in at the appropriate moments.

If you are in the later group, the advice I give you is to be considerate of your fiance’s wishes.  Of course, all of this is dependent on many factors, but for the most part the bride cares very much about each aspect of her wedding day, including the music.  Just because a groom is not interested in the many other facets of a wedding day, doesn’t give him carte blanche with the music.  Because the music is so important to setting the tone, it’s likely that the bride will want to be the guiding force when making song selections.

For you non dancers… there is still hope (that you might get some of YOUR music played at the wedding).   Pick some songs that are not offensive, that are less heavy than usual, and that would be appropriate for particular times of the night.  These times do NOT include the ceremony procession, the first dance, nor most other really special parts of the wedding day, sorry to point out the obvious.  There are, however, many times such as while people are eating their salads or during the cocktail hour, for which the music you like could get incorporated, thus making you feel more comfortable.

No matter which type of groom you might be, I believe it is important to be an integral part of selecting the first and the last dance songs of the reception.  Even if you are a “non-dancing” groom, you will likely partake in the wedding song (the first dance) and you should consider being there for your spouse for the last song.  In my opinion, these two songs are among the most important of the wedding day, the first dance for obvious reasons, and the last because it’s the last chance to reflect on the day as it’s still happening. The last song is that song that people will hear in their head as they are thanking and congratulating you.  So if you want nothing to do with the music selection, or if you are hands on, please pay special attention to deciding with your fiance what the two most special songs of your reception will be.

With Independence Day falling on a Saturday this year and a Sunday next year, surely many brides will decide the holiday weekend is a perfect chance to get everyone together for their celebration.  I realize the idea of a holiday wedding is debatable, so let’s discuss that in the future… for now, it is what it is… a 4th of July wedding!   Should you have your band or DJ play nothing but American-themed music, or should only a select few “American” songs be played at specific times?  Maybe it makes more sense to have a set of music played that goes along with the theme of the day (or weekend… realizing that having your wedding on the 3rd doesn’t negate the truth of the matter).  As always, this is your day.  If Fireworks can be seen from your reception site, this can be another good time to play patriotic songs to give your guests some of what they might be missing with their other family and friends.  You can do whatever you’d like!  However, keeping in mind the opinions of your guests is never a bad idea.

My advice is to either go all-out-american or decide on a point when the entertainment should do a set of American themed music.  The first idea, to me, is somewhat of a bold and challenging move, but I think that it will be something that people talk about for many years.  If pulled off right, it will ad a unique musical element that your guests will likely get into.  This choice will require lots of research and guidance/cooperation from your entertainment so keep this in mind when interviewing.   The later idea, doing a set of patriotic songs, is a sure fire way to incorporate the theme while not overloading the idea of America’s Independence on your wedding day.  Songs such as Bruce Springsteen’s “Born in the USA” or Don McLean’s “American Pie” are classic examples of tunes people know, love, and will sing and dance to. The timing of this set should be after dinner… make ‘em wait for it… until everyone is good and ready to accept and get involved with it.

What should you do now?  Would it be morbid to play his music, disrespectful?  Not in the least bit.  Remember, he was an artist and would want it no other way.  He wrote and performed his music for people to enjoy.  By playing the songs, you would be honoring his career, not disrespecting it.

I have had the opportunity during this past weekend, just days after his death, to play some Michael Jackson songs at two separate weddings.  Without a doubt, no questions asked, the first MJ song played at each wedding was the highlight of the dancing.  It received the biggest and best response from the guests.  MJ has always been a staple in my repertoire, but playing his music now has a new meaning to me and likely to guests at a wedding.

From this experience, I have grown as an entertainer in an unexpected way.  I have gained a new respect for the Elvis fans of the world.  Until this past weekend, when I played these MJ songs, I have never been a huge fan of Elvis.  As a matter of fact, I didn’t like his music much at.  I would often avoid playing it at weddings because I thought it was hard to dance to and not moving enough.  I do think my approach with Elvis will now change, knowing that the generations of people that were shocked by his death will appreciate a good Elvis song to rock out to.  Now, I just to find those perfect Elvis selections that will work well on the dance floor.  Any Ideas?

What is a cocktail reception?

Two words that come to mind when I think of a cocktail reception are elegant and casual.  These words probably shouldn’t be used together… unless they are describing different parts of the reception, which here they are.  The word elegant is completely a subjective description of the cocktail reception.  Honestly, a backyard BBQ, by some standards, qualifies as a cocktail reception. One obvious difference is elegance.

Secondly, casual characterizes the itinerary or flow of the reception.  According to The Webster’s Dictionary, casual means relaxed.  This doesn’t mean you shouldn’t have a plan or expect to have certain highlights of the celebration.  Rather, you should not expect these highlights (ie, a first dance, cake cutting, speeches, etc) to happen at too particular of a time.  Let the feeling of the reception move at it’s own pace. Use the music/entertainment to influence without instructing.

Keeping these two ideas in mind, I’d like to bring your attention to a few elements to keep in mind when planning a true cocktail reception.  First, keep your guests informed.  Any invitation specialist agrees that the invitation is a telling piece.  It can relay a feeling, specify attire, describe the event (either verbally or more subtly).  Email makes communicating with your guests especially easy.  Who says you can’t send your guests and email telling them how excited you are about the celebration and tell them about the setting and style of the reception.

The second element seems to be the characteristic of a cocktail reception that many couples overlook.  Assigned seating, or the lack there of.  I believe this is the single most important element of a cocktail reception, yet it’s the characteristic that is most often neglected.  Let’s use the term seating to encompass more than just the assigned seating but the placement of seats, type of seats, and the idea of mingling.  There should be no assigned seating to entice guests to move around, find a place to sit for a bit while encouraging guests to mingle and meet each other.

Tall cocktail round tables can be an excellent inclusion because they encourage people to stand while providing them with a place for their food and/or drink. Another substitute to normal round tables are short tables such as end or coffee tables.  These type tables compliment lounge seating very well, which is the preferred type of seating at a cocktail reception.  You shouldn’t, however, choose not to have a cocktail reception because you don’t have lounge seating.  Incorporating some unique table arrangements and seating patterns can go a long way.  Mainly, don’t tell your guests where they are to sit… give them the freedom to do as they please.

Eye candy!  There should be plenty for your guest to do and/or look at.  Unique decorations, pictures, video/photo montages, scenery (such as beaches, gardens, pools, ponds, or facility decor), lighting, the list goes on. The more there is for guests to see, do and talk about, the more successful this style of reception will be.

The food served should be a combination of cocktail type foods and some more substantial cuisine.  For example, have some hors d’oeuvres passed throughout the first portion of the reception and have a carving station open up after a while.  Perhaps in another area or 20 minutes later, have another station open.  Have mini entrees served.  Mini would be a good word to keep in mind when planning the food for a cocktail reception.

Lastly, the music.  The music for a cocktail reception should reflect the style of the bride and groom while complimenting the atmosphere of the location you have chosen.  The music should be chosen to accompany the natural flow of the evening and to stimulate guests senses when appropriate.  When it feels like the evening should move to dancing for example, your entertainment shouldn’t slam on some dance music.  It’s likely the music will need to build to get people in the mood.  Should you be having a cocktail reception, more than any other type, it is important to hire an experienced DJ or band that knows how to read a crowd.  Try finding entertainment that focuses on music and programming more so than interaction and involvement.

For a true cocktail reception, don’t anticipate dancing too much.  That’s not to say that guests won’t be dancing at all. Nor does it mean that there isn’t the possibility they will be dancing from the moment they get there.  By allowing the guests to do what they want when they want, the feeling of a cocktail reception, the feeling of things being more relaxed will prevail.  Having high expectations for any particular element, such as dancing, could lead to disappointment.

So, what is a cocktail reception?  A cocktail reception is a relaxed gathering of your closest friends and family.  There should be lots of small (mini) food throughout the reception.  There should be music to accompany the atmosphere and that will influence guests to mingle and dance when appropriate.  Without assigned seating, the guest should have a free flowing feeling that encourages mingling and strolling around while enjoying the music, decor, and design of the reception.

The truth is, dancing with Dad then will likely hold the attention of your guests more than at any other time.  If this dance is special for your both, knowing that your guests are engaged and seeing them watch you will invoke a feeling of importance to the moment.  There are other times you can dance with Dad and still have the attention of your guests, but none quite as powerful as immediately following your first dance.

You could dance with Dad before or after cutting your cake, first thing after dinner, last dance before dinner, or the first dance to open a set of music.  Know this… having a dance with you Father at any point other than immediately following your first dance may have less of a spotlight shown on you both.

Choosing the right song is not always the simplest task.  For many, your Dad might make it very easy by picking a song that he has been thinking of.  I can almost hear the words of some fathers, “Sweetheart, you’re sugar… you’re spice… you’re everything nice, and your Daddy’s little girl.”  I find more often the father has no idea what song he wants to have played for a dance with his daughter.  What do you do now?

First, research!   Google, WeddingAces.com, WeddingWire.com, DJ sites, iTunes, Amazon… due diligence! What I suggest is that you collect a list of songs that you may like based on the initial feeling you get when you hear it.  Once you have come up with a list of possible songs, listen to the lyrics or look up the lyrics to better understand what the songs express.  Narrow the list by eliminating the ones that you don’t like.  Now you will be left with a number of songs that you think would be fitting for the dance.  I suggest burning a CD with these songs (typically 3-7 songs), and give it to Dad (or mom).  Allow them a chance to listen to the songs that you think are appropriate.   Ask them to choose one or at least narrow your selection to two or three choices.  The end result should be a song that is meaningful to you and familiar to Dad, which is a win win and the perfect choice in my book.

TIP:  Don’t try to surprise Dad with the song selection on the day of the wedding.  Chances are, the last concern he has on the day of the wedding is what song he will be dancing with his daughter to.  The dance may be very important to him, but the lyrics of a song are not what he’s thinking about.  If you want the song to be a special element of the dance, let him know and listen to it leading up the wedding… then at the sound of the first note, the emotions he has felt listening on his own will be felt in front of all of your guests.

Over the years, I have made a collection of songs that were used or recommended for a groom’s dance with his mother. I am sure there are more. I know some of these might seem a little unusual or even comedic. Surely, there will be some ideas here that you didn’t think of, and some that you have heard many times used as a mother/son song. I hope, if nothing else, it will provide a start to you search for a song to dance to.

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Tips: I suggest that whomever is instigating the search process choose the songs you like or can deal with. Pass these few choices off to the other person so they can pick one. I do not suggest making the song selection a surprise for the wedding day. There is far too much going on at the moment of the dance for anyone to be in the moment all the while trying to “get” the song you’ve chosen. There is no rule as to whether the song should be from the Groom to Mom or vice versa. Just decide what you feel it should be and stick with that.

Best luck and congratulations!

Visit the WeddingWire Song Gallery to watch the music videos of the song recommendations above.

Choose a sappy song… obviously I don’t know your specific relationship dynamics, but I can guess that if you want to dance with your mom, you are close in a way that a tear-jerker will most likely help make the moment just what you want.   The following are some suggestions:

“I’ll Remember” – Madonna

“Please Remember” – LeAnne Rimes

“Count On Me” – Whitney Houston

“Wind Beneath My Wings” – Bette Midler

“I Turn To You” – Christina Aguilera

Second, you should consider exactly what you and your mom will do on the dance floor while all eyes are on you.  In other words, how will you dance with Mom?  Will you basically stand there and hug each other, will you twirl each other around or put your arm around her and with your other hand take hers for a more formal dance?  You needn’t have anything choreographed, but thinking about this ahead of the time will allow you to feel for comfortable during the special moment.

Finally, think about when you want to do this dance.   I can’t really advise you on the best place for this type of dance because each scenairio is different.  I can tell you that it seems “right” somewhere around the middle of the reception.  Not many brides choose to dance with their mom in the beginning, but that doesn’t mean it’s wrong to do so.  No matter at what point you choose to have the dance you will be glad you did!

So you have booked your entertainment.  Now you have 12 months or more to communicate your musical preferences to the Band or DJ.  To many, it seems like an overwhelming task, but when broken down into just a few steps, it will not only be more manageable but more fun!  So where should you begin?

1) Use a music list. A good, generic music list is a great way to start.  Most entertainment companies can or will supply you with a hard copy of a list of music that is commonly played at a wedding.  My opinion is that it’s better for this list to be shorter than longer.

Too many songs can make the process of circling and crossing out songs seem monotonous.   The advantage to starting with this step is that it will get your mind thinking in wedding mode… you will start to think of songs that don’t appear on the list and you should note all those ideas on a separate page or in the margins.  Again, it’s best if this list is not too elaborate and if the songs are made up of popular wedding songs.   This can be an excellent tool for your entertainment to know you threshold for “wedding music”.

2) Start a running list of music you like. Keep a pad of paper anywhere you listen to music… the gym, the car, at work.   If you hear a song you like, jot down the name and/or artist.   Don’t worry too much about whether the songs you are writing are wedding appropriate.  The idea here is to give the entertainment a good sense of what kind of music you like.   Make sure you write down the songs because it’s been proven that your memory becomes less useful as the date of your wedding approaches…. really, ask any bride planning her own wedding.      A few months out from the wedding date, collect all of your notes, and make one list of songs you like… if you feel the list is too long, it would be helpful for your entertainment if you prioritize the list.  If you wanted to go a step further, you can indicate where you thought the songs would be most appropriate.

NOTE:  if you feel confident you have hired a true professional to provide the entertainment on your wedding day, you should leave the song placement up to them.  Make it clear that your markings are just thoughts so as to not restrict them from doing what they do best!

3)  Think about the special songs for the wedding day. From the processional music to the last song of the night, there are many songs that stand out as being more important or special.  These songs can significantly impact the mood of the wedding.  My opinion is the special songs I am writing of (introductions, parents dances, cake cutting songs) should reflect your taste in music and personal style.  Since these songs accompany such important parts of the wedding day, they will be heard and noticed more than others so take some time to select songs that are meaningful and again ask your entertainment professional for guidance when possible.

If followed, these steps will help you choose music for your wedding day that is appropriate and unique.   I also recommend asking your friends and family what they’d like to dance to at the wedding.  Planning the music shouldn’t be a chore, it can often be a fun conversation piece at the diner after the bar or over Thanksgiving dinner.

When visiting Atlanta, I picked up several bridal magazines.  One had an article entitled (excuse me for summarizing) “New Jersey Style Weddings?”  I, of coarse, found this article very interesting because I live in New Jersey and was considering opening my wedding entertainment business in Atlanta.   Why would there be an article in an Atlanta bridal magazine with such a title? As it turns out there is a rather larger population of people living in Atlanta that have moved there from New Jersey.  So it makes perfect sense.

In hopes that I might get some feedback about some of the many different styles of receptions, I am going to provide you with the traditional order of events for a typical NJ wedding reception.  I am sticking with NJ, because when heading into the surrounding states differences begin to take place. PLEASE, contribute to this article by telling where you are from and how receptions differ in your area.

Wedding receptions in New Jersey are almost always 5 hours, which is broken into two segments, cocktail hour and 4 hour reception.  The cocktail hour is ideally held in a separate location on the premises of the reception.  For example, guests might enjoy cocktails and hors d’oeuvres in one room and then move to a much larger, lavish room for the 4 hour reception.  At some point before entering the main ballroom, guests will be directed to their assigned seats.   As guests are finding their seats, the bride, groom, their parents and bridal party are lined up outside the ballroom for their grand entrance.

Bridal Party Lined Up at the Entrance to the Ballroom

Introductions has long been the indicative start to the celebration aspect of the reception.  In other words, NJ weddings typically begin with fun and exciting introductions that build to the main event which is the grand entrance of the bride and groom and the dramatic turnaround to their first dance as husband and wife.   Assuming their is a similar number of gentlemen as ladies, a bride and groom will invite their bridal party out half way through the song to share in the dance.  While all eyes are on the dance floor, it’s customary to follow the first dance with parent’s dances.  The bride dances with her father first.  Then the groom will dance with his mother.   After these three dances, time is made for a blessing or grace and the best man’s toast.   In it’s entirety, from welcoming the guests to the best man’s toast, is what we call “introductions” and it generally takes about 20 minutes.

The next part of the reception will usually revolve around the food.  The norm is to have a sit down dinner with several courses, ie. appetizer, salad, and main course.

The unique aspect of the dinner part of the reception in NJ, is that it is acceptable and even desired to have dancing in between each course.  So there might be some dancing after the appetizer.  Then guest will sit down to enjoy their salad, after which they will dance for 25 minutes.  Everyone will sit down to eat the main course and then get right back up for more dancing.  So the general feel for the second segment of the reception (after introductions) is one of dance-eat-dance-eat-dance, etc.

By the time guests are finished with their main coarse, the first two hours of the reception have passed.  The band or DJ is generally given the next 45 minutes to an hour for uninterrupted entertainment. With approximately one hour left, the bride and groom will cut and feed each other the cake, throw the bouquet and garter, and then dance until the last minute possible.

I was very difficult to describe the typical reception without embellishing with all the new, creative, and soon to be traditional alternatives to the popular New Jersey Style wedding.  I will surely reference this post in future writings that will describe some of the new ideas, such as cocktail receptions.  In the meantime, I would love to hear how the standard reception in your area differs or compares to the New Jersey Style Wedding!

This fixture, Color Splash Jr, depicts a standard LED wash light. 123dj.com

There are hundreds of fixtures both professional and consumer grade, that create this wash effect using LED lights. The type and size of the LED’s used often determines the brightness of the fixture, but most fixtures have the capacity for variable settings of brightness. Considering that these lights generally use RGB LED’s, you can mix the Red, Green, and Blue LEDs to create just about any color in the RGB spectrum.

Wash lights can be shown anywhere, but it is becoming increasingly popular to accent walls, pillars, and other structural aspects of a location. Up-lighting is very much what the name depicts. Lights are placed on the ground and directed upwards to the ceiling, splashing the desired color onto the walls and dissipating over the ceiling. The splash of color on the ceiling is equally important as the light you see on the wall or column. If used correctly, LED wash lights can turn a room into a very unique and vibrant setting for a wedding reception. Wash lights can be used to provide subtle eye candy for your guests or to transform the entire feeling of your reception.

You should discuss the possible visual outcomes of using wash lights or up-lighting with your entertainment provider. If they don’t provide this type of service, you will likely find several lighting specialist around most metropolitan areas. You may be surprised and discover that for a small investment, you can create a very big “WOW!”

up-lighting Slide Show

The Stars’!    As rare and infrequent as it is, I do have some thoughts about ballroom dance at a wedding.

There has been a pretty steady trend of choreographing the first dance, which has it’s pros and cons.  A choreographed first dance tends to seem rather rehearsed and even somewhat unemotional.  However, if you pull it off well it is sure to excite and even impress your guests.  My suggestion for doing this is to start now, and practice a lot.  Hopefully on the day of the wedding it will be almost second nature and you can not only perform but also get wrapped up in the sentiment of your first dance together as husband and wife.

I think for an engaged couple, ballroom dance lessons is something that should be considered for several reasons.  First, having a professional show you a few tricks will make you feel more confident no matter who you are.  Even more importantly, taking ballroom dance lessons gives you something intimate and relaxing to do while enjoying time together.

On the wedding day, you shouldn’t fear sprinkling some ballroom songs throughout the reception.  There are a ton of songs that people love which are not only chart topping pop songs, but also perfect for ballroom dance.  For example, Marc Anthony’s “I Need to Know” is one of my favorite cha-cha’s.  ”Spanish Eyes” by Al Martino… excellent Rhumba!  Just keep in mind that it’s likely that only a small percentage of your guests will know how to do these specialty dances and you don’t want to alienate the guests who are intimidated by ballroom dance.

If you love ballroom dance and want to do something unique to incorporate it into your celebration, consider hiring a Ballroom instructor to teach a 20 minute group lesson.  I once saw a husband and wife team perform a salsa at a wedding and then teach the guests their spicy moves.  The guests loved it!  Happy Dancing!

Click the video below to go to the YouTube site and watch!

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v-v69UFXCww[/youtube]

I was unsuccessful at finding out who the hostess of these home video tutorials is, but once you view one on YouTube, most of her other features come up in the related videos section on the right side of your screen.  There are many details to consider when planning a bridal shower, but just don’t forget to keep the guests engaged. Check out all of her videos to get more fun ideas!

photo: brandyscrap.com

I can’t say that I have a lot of experience in the bridal shower realm, but one can’t deny that April showers are followed by May Weddings! As a seasoned professional in the entertainment business, I followed my instincts when thinking about this week’s special topic on Wedding Aces… bridal showers. My instincts took me directly to the ultimate information portal… Google! You could surely get this info by researching yourself, but perhaps my refined search for musical activities can save you some time.

Games or activities play a large role at a shower. In addition to the entertainment value, they typically will reflect the personality of the bride. These three ideas are perfect for the bride who loves music!

I take no credit for these ideas. It turns out that About.com has some excellent wedding ideas… the following presented by the Weddings Guide on About.com, Nina Callaway.

In the style of The Newlywed Show, testing the bride’s knowledge of the groom’s likes and dislikes is always interesting and entertaining for all. Try asking the groom for a list of his top 10 favorite musical artists/groups. On a poster board, list the artists in order of his preference. As the bride, under the scrutiny of her friends and family, says an artist someone can reveal the artist, showing how accurate she is. On a second board, write down the artists she gives that the groom did not mention… he’ll probably get a kick out of these once the day is over!

Another game Nina describes is one where a prize is in order for the winner. As many shower games are meant to do, this one will require guests to mingle a bit and it will test their people reading skills. Before the party, ask each guest what the first album they ever bought was. For the shower, list the guests on a sheet of paper along with a list of all the albums. Have the guests try to match everyone with the correct album. The first one to finish wins a prize and the one with the most correct wins one too!

Finally, for the music lover… and the uninhibited… there is karaoke. Why not? It needn’t be a karaoke party, but it could be something that you do for an hour or so near the end. You can rent karaoke machines and song libraries from local sources or from nationwide services. My favorite is All American Karaoke. Be careful though, this could have the guests talking for weeks about how much fun they had at the shower… the men will start to wonder!

Thursday evening receptions are no less formal than any other.  They are no less beautiful.  The romance is still in the air.  So what is different about a Thursday wedding?  Let’s get the obvious out of the way, most of your guests will have to work on Friday.  That, however, is not much different than a Sunday night wedding… and Sunday night weddings are very common.  Frankly, most people tend to feel they can get through a Friday at work (more so than Monday) after a late or crazy previous night.

Since I mention late, it may behoove you to calculate the timing of a Thursday wedding by first considering until what time it is realistic to expect your guests to stay out. Assume that everyone will have an hour of worth of travel from the reception to home. Once they get home, it is probable that they can be in bed and ready to sleep within a half hour. Let’s assume that many of your guests will need to be awake by 6am. Is it safe to assume that six hours of sleep can get someone through their Friday at work? I think so. That means they will need to be home by 11:30pm and the reception will need to conclude no later than 10:30pm. If you are having a traditional five hour reception (hour cocktail hour and 4 hour reception), it will begin at 5:30pm.

As you can see, the 9 to 5′ers will have trouble making it to your cocktail hour on time, let alone a ceremony preceding it. Even if you presume that many guest will be able to escape from work early, you should still concede to the fact that your ceremony will need to be at the same location as the reception. To some, this idea is a deal breaker for a Thursday evening wedding. Regarding religion, I am not aware of any particular religious beliefs that indicate that Thursday is not an acceptable day to get married. If you know of any, your comments and knowledge would be appreciated. As you may figure, Thursday evening weddings may be particularly appealing to those who plan to elope or get married at the court house.

Finally, we should take a look at the greatest advantage of all… cost! I can’t promise you that every banquet facility, professional or vendor offers discounts on slower days of the week, but I know many do. I use Sundays as a reference point. Regardless of whether they should or not, the wedding “market” indicates that a vendor needs to discount their price for a Sunday afternoon wedding. (I happen to think someone shouldn’t necessarily expect to pay less for the same service because it’s on any other day than Saturday, but competition is on the bride’s side here) If you can expect a discount for a Sunday, you can expect at least the same if not a larger discount for a Thursday evening.

You may see this in a different light than I, and I invite your comments.  I think Thursday night weddings have a lot to offer despite the few negative aspects. I have provided services at about ten Thursday  receptions, all of which have been successful in my eyes. I encourage couples who are trying to cut corners so they can have their dream wedding on a Saturday night to consider a Thursday night. Get the best of the best, have it all without going bankrupt!

WHAT – A gobo refers to a small disc about the size of a silver dollar.  The gobo has a design on it, and when a high power lamp is shown through it, the design is projected.  The word gobo is used interchangeably to describe the small disc with the pattern, the pattern itself, and the actual projection you see.  Gobos can be simple or intricate.  They can also include colors. Depending on the pattern needed and the lamp used, they can be made out of several material… typically glass, metal, or plastic.

WHY – Gobos have many uses, but the ultimate goal is always (what I call) eye candy.  At a concert, gobos add depth and texture.  A gobo projected on the outside of a building can be an eye catching advertisement.  For your wedding… a gobo is a distinctive way to tie in your unique monogram while providing a visual attraction for your guests.  If done properly, a custom gobo is a relatively inexpensive way to spruce up a room or compliment an elegant atmosphere.

WHERE – Where does the gobo fit into the wedding day?  A gobo can be projected in any number of places and contexts.  The most common location to see a gobo is on the dance floor during the reception.  However, don’t rule out the possibility of a large wall or the ceiling.  Also, there’s no rule that says a gobo doesn’t or won’t look equally stunning shown somewhere around the ceremony location or projected behind the bar during your cocktail hour.   You are only limited by the business you choose to handle the gobo projection so I suggest you consider where you want to use the gobo before you select a company to help you.

HOW – How do you get this done?  Many DJ’s offer this type of lighting effect.  They will likely have a procedure to recommend.  If your band or DJ does not have this lighting available, there are lighting specialty companies that will be able to handle it.  Contacting a wedding planner is a good way to find a lighting specialist in your area.

You DIY brides will love this.  If your vendor is willing to let you get the gobo  yourself, you can very easily have a gobo made through a number of websites, which could possibly save you some money.  I’ve had much success with Gobo Source.  They have recently updated their site to include many new templates that can make the ordering process much easier.  It is very important that you know the type of light fixture that will be used to project the gobo and or the exact size of gobo needed before you order.  Not all gobos are universal.  If you’re not careful, you could end up with a fancy silver dollar sized disc that is completely useless.

Lighting of any kind can add a unique element of visual stimulation to your wedding decor.  The monogram gobo is an inexpensive way to serve some eye candy to your guests in a tasteful way.

First, there is no rule book that says you must follow the bouquet toss with the garter toss.  You could simply have the DJ announce that there will be no garter ceremony so there is no need to worry about being embarrassed (and you could go a bit further and invite not only the single ladies but all the women).  If you go this route, I do recommend having the florist make the “throw-away” bouquet a bit more substantial than the normal arrangement.   I have had some brides choose to do the garter ceremony because of a special garter gifted to them.  Well, undoubtedly, the part of the whole ceremony that causes hesitancy is when the recipient of the garter puts the garter on the leg of the recipient of the bouquet.  Just eliminate this step all together. (Again, ask the Emcee to make it clear to people that they need not worry about being embarrassed with that process.)  If you go this route, I would suggest the first step in the process be your groom removing the garter and the second be a toss together. (Here, i think just the single people would be more appropriate.)  To take this last idea even a step further… you could have the recipients of the garter and bouquet do a “good luck dance”, starting with the two of them… quickly requesting the bride and groom, and then the entire room to join, each couple representing 2 (or 5 if your superstitious)  years good luck for the newlyweds.  Choose a nice, non-romantic song such as Louis Armstrong’s “What a Wonderful World” or better yet the popular Hawaiian medley by Israel Kamakawiwo Ole’ (IZ).

Another idea that is discussed amongst brides seems to have originated from Martha Stewart’s creativity.  They refer to it as the fortune bouquet.  MarthaStewartWeddings.com has an elegant description, “The traditional toss bouquet, when caught, tells one lucky receiver little more than that she will be the next to wed. But this distinctive toss bouquet is made up of a cluster of smaller bouquets, each bearing its own secret fortune that offers more detailed information about future husbands to a few agile [single] guests.” This bouquet is tossed and it breaks apart in the air and the ladies ideally will try to catch one.  On the flower or mini, breakaway piece a fortune is tied.  You can be as creative as you’d like, but I am partial to the guidance given on MarthaStewartWeddings.com.   I did this at a wedding only once before and the bride had me read the fortunes… just make sure the fortunes are good and the Emcee is able to add lib to your liking.

Although there are a couple other ideas brought to my attention, the final concept I will mention  here is the one that I am most familiar with, the Anniversary Dance.   The old tradition of doing something for the single people (along with all of the relative theoretical meanings) is often being replaced with a dance dedicated to the married couples and more specifically the couple that has been married the longest.  I know there are probably some variations on approach but I will tell you how it is done most successfully at wedding for which I am the Emcee.

The couple married longest at my wedding

First, I tell the guests, “Traditionally at this time of the reception [the bride] would throw her bouquet to the single ladies and we’d go through the whole garter ceremony, but tonight [the bride and groom] have something special planned for their bouquet.  The would like to present it to a special couple in this room.   But first we need to figure out who the couple is so before I explain how we will do this, [the bride and groom] need all of the married couple to please come to the dance floor”.  Once I have the couple on the dance floor, I explain that we are going to do the Anniversary Dance.  ”All of you married couples will join in dance with [the bride and groom], and throughout the dance I will eliminate you by the number of years that you’ve been married… ending up with the couple that has been married the shortest amount of time and the couple that has been married the longest.  Then [the bride and groom] will present their bouquet to this couple as a symbol of their respect for this couple’s long, lasting marriage.”   I feel it is very important to ask the guests several times to please not return to their seats as they are eliminated. “Remain on the edges of the dance floor so that we can acknowledge this special couple”  So, I start with 5 year… please step to the sides of the dance floor.  After we eliminate 25 years couples… we acknowledge those that are still out there.  Then 30… and so on.   Once we get to the last couple, I will fade the music and find out a bit about the couple.  They get several rounds of applause and a nice picture withe bride and groom.   Some Emcee’s take it a step further by asking the couple for some words of advice on how to make it so far… and the response is often quite humorous.

Let the truth be told, no matter how much fun it looks like I am having each time I do a conga line, these audience participation songs are not on my iPod.   As a matter of fact, I don’t know anyone who listens to Hands Up in the car or while showering.  My point is that these songs have a specific purpose and they should be used [played] appropriately… that is, if they are used at all.  The topic is very debatable.  Some people think that songs like the Cha Cha Slide are cheesy and others think they are fun.  A bride might be mortified if the chicken dance is played at her wedding, but her parents can’t imagine a celebration without it.  How about you?   Will you have audience participation at your wedding?  Do you generally do the electric slide when it’s played? 

Without a clear idea about the desired atmosphere for your reception, there is no right or wrong.  If you know, however, that you want a very elegant affair, you may want to stay away from group dances.  On the other hand, if you are shooting for a more relaxed atmosphere these songs might be more fitting.  This theory is good for the two extremes, but what about the majority of couples who’s vision and planning creates a middle of the road scenario.   These couples often describe the elegant aspects of the wedding in the same sentence that they explain their wish that their guest get crazy on the dance floor.  Where does audience participation fit into this situation?

It is my believe that you rarely NEED to have audience participation songs to have a good time.  Sure, I think they can be fun from time to time.  I also agree with some DJ’s that praise these songs’ ability to often loosen people up.  However, times have changed and with those changes are new trends.  There was a time when the electric slide might be a DJ’s first song to open the dance floor or perhaps the guests would ask for it a second time.  It was these group dances that made the reception fun.  No longer is that the case.

Today’s bride has many more resources from which she can get new ideas and explore DIY projects that make her wedding unique.  There has been a gradual turn toward directing guests focus to decor, specialty stations such as a candy bar, and mini-activities like guest decorated memory albums and photo booths.  Dancing has always been a significant portion of wedding receptions and will likely always remain so. However, with new and distinctive reception styles such as cocktail receptions and iPod receptions become popular, emphasis is moved from the dance floor to other creative aspects.

I do believe that at many wedding receptions their is a handful of guests who would enjoy doing a few select group dances.  Particularly the older guests.  It can’t hurt to evaluate whether these guests will even get up to do a group dance and you might be surprised at the number of younger guests that join them on the  dance floor.   The difference today is that these songs are not used to get people on the dance floor so much as they are used to break up the dancing with a splash of nostalgia.

Bottom line is this… if you think these songs are cheesy and you don’t want them played… don’t have them played.  If you have a secret passion for doing these dances, by all means have the DJ spotlight them all! Furthermore, if your aunt Tilda really wants to do the electric slide, ask the DJ to make it a special song for her.  Doing one or two shouldn’t cheese things up as much as you might think.  Either way your guests will likely enjoy the uniqueness of your reception that reflects your personality and tastes.