One of my favorite movies is, Bride Wars, with Anne Hathaway and Kate Hudson.  The two best friends had been dreaming about their big day since they were little girls with every detail planned out already in their heads.  When the two girls finally reach the age where their significant others are about to propose, they are both filled with eager anticipation of when the day will come when the big question will be popped, they will have that beautiful rock on their left hands, and they can begin the wedding plans they have been dreaming about for years!  Liv (Hudson) and Emma (Hathaway), both become engaged, one right after the other in a matter of a few days time.  Of course their first thoughts are to rush to their favorite wedding planner, Marion St. Clare to book their dates and begin the wedding plans.  Liv and Emma both scheduled dates that were a few weeks apart and could not be happier.  When a scheduling conflict occurred and their wedding dates end up being booked on the same day, neither of the girls are willing to give in to moving their wedding date, and the “bride wars” begin!

Are you and your best friend BOTH finally engaged and beginning to make arrangements for the big day?  To avoid conflict or re-creations of various scenes from the romantic comedy, Bride Wars, you will want to make sure that you sit down with your bestie/bride-to-be and discuss scheduling and important dates.  It is not a good idea to schedule your weddings too close together and you will want to make sure you discuss these issues far enough in advance to avoid potential conflicts.

You need to consider that your wedding is going to involve all those friends and family that you love most and if scheduling your wedding too close together would force some guests to have to choose which wedding to attend, you are going to have conflict.  Also take into consideration; will you be on your honeymoon instead of at her wedding?  To close of spacing could leave you both missing out and upset.  At least a month of time between each wedding is best.  The more time the better to avoid conflicts with bridal showers, bachelor/bachelorette parties, rehearsal dinners, honeymoons, etc.

If scheduling becomes an issue and having weddings with very close dates are unavoidable, the most important conversations you will need to have will revolve around your guest lists.  You must realize that you may each have disappointments if guests have to chose whose invitation to accept.  Each bride-to-be should invite those guests that they would like to have present at their wedding regardless of whether you think one guest might attend one wedding over the other.  After the invitations have been sent, the decision lies in the hands of your guests.  It is not up to you to decide for your guests by divvying up the list between the two of you.

Though there may be things—guests’ lists or other things—that might happen to come between your friendship while planning your wedding celebrations, you must remember that this is YOUR big day.  With a bit of patience and understanding you both can move forward and put this conflict behind you, to ensure a beautiful wedding for the both of you.  As long as sincere efforts have been made to accommodate both of your wishes, there is no need to feel guilty about going ahead with the rest of your own individual plans.