Bridal Buds WeddingWire Blog

Leave the Kids at Home? Wording Dilemma…

3 Comments

One of the most contentious issues in the world of weddings is the question of the “Adults Only Wedding.” If you’ve chosen this route, you’ll find scores of BAD ideas in any online search seeking advice on how to convey this event preference to your guests!

kids-collagephotos courtesy of the Wedding Photojournalist Association

We subscribe to the do-unto-others school of etiquette: it’s always best to err on the side of making your guests feel welcome.  And you can still let your guests know that you prefer kids to stay home without resorting to total tackiness.

First, it’s not recommended to inscribe “Adults Only” or “No Children” on your invitation. Such exclusionary language sets the wrong tone and takes the focus off of the event.

Traditional invitation etiquette dictates that the envelope be addressed specifically to the invited guests. While some dismiss this tactic as outdated and too subtle, we find that this simple solution is generally rather effective and addresses the issue with grace.

However, for brides looking to emphasize the point a bit more strongly, using the phrase “Number of Adults Attending” on the reply card eliminates the opportunity to RSVP for children at all.

It’s just a fact of life that no matter how clear you attempt to be, there will always be those few guests who just don’t get it. The best thing to do when faced with an uninvited guest of any age is to roll out the welcome mat, set an extra spot at the table, and silently chalk it up to bad manners on the guest’s part. As long as you maintain your graciousness, a minor glitch won’t overshadow the true focus of your big day.

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3 Comments

  1. Carey

    9/25/09

    Alternatively, you can put a reception card that reads “Please join us for an adults only reception…” which is a little less subtle, more not quite as in your face as putting it on the invitation.

  2. Kathy Jo Peterson

    9/26/09

    As a wedding planner I come across this a lot. My favorite way to say this is to write on the RSVP in pretty font..
    * An Eleagant Adult Occasion *

  3. Kathy Jo Peterson

    9/26/09

    But spell it correctly , sorry !